Off the Mark

ain’t it hard to stumble
when you’ve got no place to fall
in this whole wide world
yes i got no place at all

ain’t it hard to stumble
when you’ve got no place to fall
in this whole wide world
yes i got no place at all

cause i’m a stranger here
i’m a stranger everywhere
i would go home, but honey
i’m a stranger there

hitched up my buggy
and i saddled my black mare
gonna find me a fair deal
in this world somewhere

hitched up my buggy
and saddled my black mare
gonna find me a fair deal
in this world somewhere

cause i’m a stranger here
i’m a stranger everywhere
i would go home, but honey
i’m a stranger there

looked down the track
just as far as i could see
and a little bitty hand
kept a-wavin’ back at me

looked down the track
just as far as i could see
and a little bitty hand
just a-wavin’ back at me

cause i’m a stranger here
i’m a stranger everywhere
i would go home, but honey
i’m a stranger there

i’m a stranger there
i’m a stranger there

"i’m a stranger here" (public domain) as sung by Lambchop on the Hank EP.

I chose this song to begin my day, the 1st of this my 46th year,
because it resonates with several interrelated themes of my life.  Some
of these themes have been life-long although they have only been really
felt these last few years.

It seems I have been traveling my entire life.  Moving from Normal
to Urbana this past summer was rather traumatic for me.  I had lived
there 6 years and it had become my ‘home.’  Sure, I did not like living
in an apartment and dreamed of having my own house someday.  I have no
idea what the hell "the American Dream" is but I know that for me it
does not involve living in an apartment. 

Six years you say, so what?  Well those six years were the 2nd
longest that I have ever lived anywhere in my life!  The longest was
about 9 years, but they ended when I was about 14, and they also
included 2 different places technically.

I’m so very tired of being a ’stranger’ everywhere I go.  And
yes, this is both metaphorical and literal.  There’s an awful lot going
on this head of mine on these issues and I myself don’t even yet know
what they are entirely.  It may not be as depressing as it was before,
but it is and probably will always be a very melancholy subject for me.

cause i’m a stranger here
i’m a stranger everywhere
i would go home, but honey
i’m a stranger there

Happy Birthday to me….