Off the Mark

Origin of Love – Hedwig and the Angry Inch (Hedwig and the Angry Inch original motion picture soundtrack, © 2001)

I’ve only had this 9 days.  I 1st watched the movie on 9 Aug & bought the soundtrack 11 Aug 02, but I love it.  I’ve listened to it at least once and usually twice a day since then.  Hedwig has certainly entered my list of favorite movies about the search for identity and for love…  It may be a bit much for some, but the pain of the search (for identity and love) has rarely been better captured or expressed!  A beautiful little story; of course, not literally true, but I have that same pain in my soul.   

Plato’s Symposium… 

…you had a wound so familiar… 
…that the pain down in your soul
was the same as the one down in mine…

Goes back to the immediate motivation/purpose for this CD.  It never went to her, though for good reasons. 

I still love this movie and this soundtrack.  Just as I love Better Than Chocolate.   I may be a heterosexual white male but there is absolutely no reason to exclude other people’s search for love and identity from my own.  The goal is the same for all of us.

This is the final song on resonance.  There was a little time left for a short song and I put off finalizing the disc for a few months trying to decide if I was going to add another.  Eventually I decided to just stay with Origin of Love.  I am glad I did. 

This CD never got delivered to the person it was intended for.  It had morphed into something vastly different than what it had started as.  I maintain that it is still related and does serve as a decent introduction to me for some purposes and for some people.  Just not the one that started it all.

I never wanted anything but to be this woman’s friend as she clearly needed one.  But I guess having a husband and a boyfriend were already enough.  Thing’s got stupid real fast and I had to be the bad guy in some people’s minds.  Small minds….  Her boyfriend, who was supposedly a friend of mine, took to telling me all sorts of tales about how I was disturbing her, frightening her, etc.  But let’s see, we did most of our talking by email.  She always responded quickly, nicely, and encouragingly.  If I was a problem for her, why did she write back?  Why did she encourage me?  Why didn’t she tell me to go away?  Why…?

Well, I’m the one who ended up suffering a fair bit of damage over this.  I skipped a major social event put on by other real friends and could not explain why to them.  That was probably the most painful part of it all for me.  They accept me for who I am and understand that I mean no one any harm.

I know men are supposedly assholes, but seriously, I want no romantic entanglement with any woman who has a husband and/or a boyfriend!  But that doesn’t mean I am going to judge you or not want to be your friend.

I’m not sure what lessons I learned from this whole farcical scenario.  But I do know that people need to be very careful about the verbal bombs they just drop in people’s laps.  You never know what chord you may strike in the other person that will continue to resonate long after your off-hand comment.