I almost want to say I’m sorry for the previous post.  But I’m not.  It’s just such a shame though because I really was joyful for a few moments today. 

I was quite pleased when my paper was finished before class.  I even had enough time to hop over to the coffee shop before class started so I popped in my earphones, cranked up Haunted by Poe on the iPod and bopped my way over and back.

I was in such a great mood that I meant to ask ****** out.  I really intended to. I really did Em.  But I didn’t want to just pop it out at her out of the blue, and then other people came into the classroom.  After class she disappeared so quickly.  I know, I’m pathetic.  So be it.  It’s me that has to live with me.

Anyway, I was still joyful because class was over!  So in go the earphones, and up comes Haunted again, because well, I just find it so darn upbeat.  Bopped over to the library and picked up Dr. Stivers dissertation that has arrived from SIUC and then head home, almost skipping, knowing that I have a long weekend ahead of me.

Between my excursion into the blogosphere (Bejeesus, I hate that word) and the previous post, I watched Better Than Chocolate, which is one of my favorite movies about the search for identity and for love.

Now I’m listening to Lambchop’s is a woman and trying to remind myself of the joy I felt today and to calm down before bed.  This Lambchop is my usual bedtime fare.  I almost don’t feel right if I don’t hear "Last thought that you think today has already happened" before tucking myself in.

Breathe in.  Joy.  Breathe out.  Joy.  Breathe in.  Love.  Breathe out.  Calm.  Breathe in.  Joy.

i do it for the joy it brings
because i am a joyful girl
because the world owes me nothing
and we owe each other the world
i do it because it’s the least i can do
i do it because i learned it from you
and i do it just because i want to
because i want to
Ani DiFranco – Joyful Girl from Dilate