Off the Mark

This song is dedicated to the views behind a recent comment that was made to me in a class. 

I know that it was made in the spirit of well-meant, constructive criticism but it made me very mad nonetheless.  I was told that my "posts, while insightful, at times have been highly provocative."

Well, provocative maybe?  Highly provocative, no.  And I say no because there is absolutely no intention to be provocative.  My intention is to get people to think, to challenge their assumptions, and to not just uncritically take in something new that sounds promising.  That is the point of this situation I thought.

So, for the viewpoint that lead to that comment, I dedicate "Don’t You Think" by Natalie Imbruglia.

Some people
Don’t worry
‘Bout nothing
Don’t know what’s going on
I’m not one
Who can’t say they’re sorry
I just care what’s going on
There’s more important things
Than making sure your watch look just right
And second hand opinions
Don’t make you look any smarter

Don’t you think
Don’t you think that maybe it’s time, yes it’s time
Time you started thinking

And don’t just sweeten up the taste
Brother shoots brother
But meanwhile your fixing up your face
You’re not affected by the truth
Unless it’s on your doorstep
Deodorise your paradise
No point in getting crazy

Don’t you think
Don’t you think that maybe it’s time, yes it’s time

Time you started thinking ’bout things in the back of your head
Someone said before you turn a blind eye
Hear a bell ring sex sells everything
But I don’t buy it so don’t try it
Sleeping in the small world head in the sand
Better wash your hands, make a new plan
There’s more important things
Than making sure your shoes walk just right
Ignore reality there’s nothing you can do about it
Ignore reality there’s nothing you can do about it
Ignore reality there’s nothing you can do about it
The clothes you wear don’t make the man
It’s just another party

Don’t you think
Don’t you think that maybe it’s time
Time you started thinking

Why did this comment make me so mad?  That’s an easy one.  My entire life I have been told to be quiet, to listen, that my voice does not matter.  There have been a few situations where my voice matters, but they are few and I highly prize them.

Most children, especially those of the 60s, are ‘told’ that there voice does not matter via our child-rearing practices and societal norms.  Even within my peer group as a child I was dismissed.  I was the smallest kid, boy or girl, in my classes until the 4th grade, and then I was the 2nd smallest.  Big step up there.  I was also devilishly smarter than many of my peers, which manifested itself in many behavioral problems that, of course, had to be medicated.  I was diagnosed as a combination of several letters long before there was an H in ADHD.  And, thus, as a "problem child" it was even easier to dismiss my voice. 

Later in school I was never in any sort of in-group.  Even when I participated in sports it was in cross country and as a miler in track.  Distance runners are, or at least were, on the low end of the sports spectrum.  In the military I was an enlisted member.  And while at times one’s voice can matter there it is rare.  You are still following orders from above, and often passing on or enforcing clearly stupid orders that you are then supposed to "own" in your own voice.

Now I am a middle-aged white male.  Thanks to the horrible way that many Western white males have acted over the centuries this is also a voice that needs to be suppressed in our society in the view of many.  Yes, there is a certain kind of institutionalized Western white male voice that needs to be challenged and often corrected for.  But to routinely disenfranchise me, as an individual, from the conversation is just as evil as if I was to actively dismiss the voices of women, or "minorities," or anyone else because they "belong" to a certain demographic.  There is no one else who has had or ever will have the experiences I have had, and thus my voice is unique—just as every individual voice is unique.  This is the quality in a voice that matters, its uniqueness.

This blog is an attempt to find a voice that has been effectively silenced for 40 some odd years.  Much of my online and in person commentary in classes is also an attempt to find my voice.  Do I blow it sometimes?  Certainly!  Do I need to listen more?  Definitely!  That is a skill I am also trying to grow.  I never claimed that my voice has more merit than someone else’s and, in fact, the drawing out of other voices is another skill I am trying to cultivate.  One cannot listen to another who has no voice.

This is, I know, a crude explanation as to why I was highly upset by the feedback I was given.  I do know that it was made in a loving spirit and on the behalf of others, not necessarily on behalf of the one making it.  But it was also made in the almost complete lack of what it might mean to me phrased in the way that it was.  I could almost turn it back reflexively on the one who made it.  Listen.  What is the spirit in which these "highly provocative" posts are made?  And that my friends is the key.  It is also a majority of the content of this course.  So why are we learning it if it isn’t to apply to each other?

"Don’t You Think?"