Order of the Serpentine


  Order of the Serpentine 
  Originally uploaded by broken thoughts.

I’ll admit that this is is extemely sad and pathetic, downright sexist, patriarchal and just plain f’ed up all around; but, this is the funniest shit I’ve received in the mail in years!

I mean the fact that I got this is simply too ironic for words. 

Make sure you click through to my flickr stream to see all of the photos of this trifold beauty.  And if you really must, go to www.orderoftheserpentine.com.   They have a secret handshake and all.   Of course, if there’s a video on the website teaching you how to do it I’m having a hard time getting the ‘secret’ part.

Maybe some of you more in tune with pop culture are aware of this offensive shit, but it was certainly news to me.

Remember boys and men, these are the facts that you need to know:

  • It’s tough to say no to tube tops.
  • Tight sweaters are hypnotizing.
  • Women in vinyl pants are persuasive.
  • Dark nightclubs are disorienting.
  • Male hormones have a mind of their own.
  • The Order of the Serpentine can help.

You too are only a ‘Daily Scrubbing Ritual’ away from achieving ‘a shame-free state.’   Because we both know that you were ‘well-intentioned’ when you had that ‘questionable hook-up.’

God.  I think I’m about to puke!  Some days I’m glad to be old.

Finishing up, or heading down the home(work) stretch

Yesterday afternoon I finished up my Indexing paper that was due at 3 PM today.   Being pleased with myself I IM’d Jenny to see if there were any libations in the immediate weather forecast.

I headed out to meet her at Crane Alley at 5ish.  We hung out till 7 when she had a dinner date and I enjoyed 3 pints of Guinness during that time.  Upon arriving home I was greeted by a message from my Indexing instructor saying he received my paper just fine, but were the 2 indexes for it coming under separate cover?  WTF?  Check the assignment instructions quickly to get my bearings.  Doh!  Those two indexes.  Oh, yes.  "Certainly are, sir!"

I watched a movie since I don’t do homework after drinking and knocked out my indexes today.  Now that assignment is done.  Yay!

What’s left?

Monday morning my LC Rules and Tools for Cataloging Internet Resources assignment is due in Cat & Class II.  Have to provide complete MARC records for an electronic monograph, serial and an integrating resource to include subject analysis and either LCC or DDC.  I did a fair bit of the monograph last weekend.

I just got a new (current through 2005 updates) text block for my AACR2 in the mail.  The one I had (got it for free) was only the 2002 edition with no updates, and it turns out I need the updates to do these electronic resources.  And.  I was allergic to the older one.  Of course not because it was older.  Because the person who gave it to me had 2 long haired cats.  I lived with it all through my first cataloging class and I tried to this time, but I couldn’t do it.  Needing the updates was a good excuse to just get a brand new complete text block.

So I’m set to work on that later this evening and tomorrow.

For Metadata I have a schema and 5 or so age paper defending my schema due Tuesday at 2 PM.  Here’s the assignment description, slightly tailored to my express purpose:

For this assignment, you will create a new metadata schema to describe the four objects which you created metadata records for in Assignment 1 (bibliographic citations). The new schema may be either descriptive, administrative or structural. You may define your schema in one of two ways:

  1. An XML Schema, which must include an annotation element for each element
    containing a documentation element describing the use of the element and any attributes for that element; or
  2. A complete text listing of each element, describing its use, data type if appropriate, and rules regarding its content. See the PREMIS data dictionary at http://www.oclc.org/research/projects/pmwg/premis-dd.pdf for a good example of a schema data dictionary which you might emulate.

You will need to submit your schema definition, metadata records for the four objects you described in Assignment 1 which conform to your new schema, and a 3-5 page paper describing how your schema is superior to alternatives for use in an academic library setting, with particular attention to how it better supports the work of students, faculty, or librarians.

"Riiight," as Noah said to God, ala Bill Cosby.  Thanks to all of the research that I’ve been doing, and attempting to do, I probably know more about the concept and the structure of bibliographic citations (in some disciplines anyway) than the vast majority of librarians.  As usual, the lovely part of learning more and more is that you only find out how much more there is to know.  I will not be making any claims to "better support" for anyone in my paper.  I will claim that my attempt is a good first stab at creating a schema for my purposes.  Whether or not that is anyone else’s purpose or even a good purpose I don’t yet know.

I can tell you that most of the big name citation formats are useless when it comes to "unpublished" materials, particularly preprints, postprints, or the more inclusive eprints.  Most still say do not use these material unless you absolutely have to.

There are many references in the IR arena that claim that all versions of papers should be deposited.  Great and I even think I agree.  But how is someone supposed to cite these things?  I turned my attention to the physics community since they seem to be ahead of the game here.  While I did not get to check all of the sources or speak to everyone I would have liked to, I could find no good solid answer to how to cite such critters, which are only going to proliferate in other fields as repositories, self-archiving and open access grow.  Heck, I don’t even want to know how to cite them except conceptually.  I could care less about the specifics of citation, such as an archive number from Los Alamos National Laboratory that has become fairly standard.  That’d be great if all ‘archives’ used standard numbers.  <sigh>  Assignments, unfortunately, have due dates and good research does not respect deadlines. 

Ah well, you don’t want to know about every problem I face.  Let me just say that they are manifold, and primarily for two reasons.  First, I am trying to look toward the future, but it is hard to predict the future of formats.  Second, I am taking this assignment very seriously as it is the foundation of a much larger and longer-term project that I am working on, currently across my three classes and into the future.

My solution at the moment is to start with MODS and gut it.  I do not need classification, targetAudience, or tableOfContents, and I may not need subject or genre.  For now, I am not using subject but may want it in the future.  genre is the tricky one at the moment.  I don’t really need it based on MARC/AACR2, but I may want to use it for preprint, postprint, eprint (if I don’t know which of the others), and published, or some such anyway.  So I’m gutting MODS by removing some elements and some attributes from some of the remaining elements, adding some atrributes and possibly a new element.  I’m commenting prolifically on everything I take out or add, and adding to or changing the annotations for the remaining elements and attributes.

Again, I will take a far more humble approach in my paper but I think that’s OK.  We were told to be "presumptious" in class last week in regards to this assignment, but I know Jerry understands that this is a project for me, not just an assignment.  Hell, if I could find and remember everything I’ve read in preparation for this the works consulted would be longer than the paper itself.  I am not kidding.

Next, I have an Abstracting assignment to make up.  I’m not really sure when it is due, well, because it was due weeks ago.  Anyway, I’m scheduling it sometime between Tuesday evening and Friday.

Wednesday evening I’ll get what is supposed to be a "small and enjoyable" test that’ll be due Friday, 5 May.

Then there’s my final project for Cat & Class II due May 9th at noon.  That is well under control, even if it is part of my larger bibliographic citation project.  This is an annotated bibliography of materials related to cataloging and metadata education—somewhere around 23 titles.  I have over half of the annotations written, although I want to add a sentence or two to a few.  All of the materials have been read at least once, although it may have been last June.  So I need to re-read about 8 or so and write the annotations.  For now, these are just in EndNote so they’ll get dumped into a Word document and I’ll tidy up my introduction and print it out.  Yay!

After that it’s time for a little tassel action.  The ‘end’ is in sight and I even staved off the stress of noisy jerks on my roof and all around my apartment while I’m trying to work towards graduation.  Yes, there are lots of little and not so little ‘home improvement’ and landscaping projects going on all around me and my apartment.  But I’m dealing anyway.

I am so proud of myself in so many little ways.  I have come so far from where I was a scant two years ago.  And, no, I’m not really even talking about earning my MSLIS.  That was really nothing in the end.  I am referring to the complexity that is me

The me that came to library school was in full survival mode, severely depressed, somewhat unstable, often suicidal, and highly questioning my choice to become a librarian.  The only thing I looked forward to was going to bed each night so that another day would just be over and I’d be that much closer to the end.

While I would say that I am still prone to depression, I have come to recognize its onset earlier and earlier and to even take appropriate steps to mitigate or overcome it.  I most certainly am not in survival mode and am quite stable.  While I have some questions and concerns about this oh-so-human profession, I am quite happy with my decision to enter it.  There are wonderful people everywhere here.  And this me is eagerly looking towards the next adventure that is my CAS and also pursuing some further changes in my personal life.  Seeing as these are long-term changes over longer spans than a day at a time, I’d say that’s pretty darn good for only two years.  Oh, and I also managed to earn a graduate degree too.

Now I just need to find me a buddy.

Poetry? Verse? Maybe just heartfelt crap.

If anyone finds this offensive I’m blaming Jenica for reminding me that it’s National Poetry Month.  What she recently said goes double for me: "Much to the horror of several dear friends, I don’t really "do" poetry.  It makes me twitchy and irritable."

I most certainly do not "do" poetry.  I rarely ever read it; although it is a character flaw that I am slooowly trying to cure myself of.  I most certainly do not write it.  Except.  Just last week I did.  Now whatever it was that I did can certainly be argued, and probably will be after it is read by you all, it was certainly from my heart.  [Please, please do not unsubscribe to my feed!  I promise to never ever publish any more of my "poetry."]

My friend and school chum Maggie celebrated her birthday last week and in a moment of putting off my school work I wrote some original verse to inscribe in her birthday card earlier in the day.

I swear it’s Jenica’s fault!  I would never have thought to post this here until she reminded me that it’s National Poetry Month, and seeing as this is a democracy I am free to add my horrible but heartfelt verses to the mix.  Consider yourselves warned!

"Ode to a lovely lass named Maggie"

I know a beautiful* young lady named Maggie.
She makes all the boys go quite waggie.

She has always treated me warmly,
which is not what I get, normally.

Storyteller of merit, already is she,
but she’ll progress still, to a higher degree.

Today is her birth day,
which I hope is a mirth day.

I wrote her this small verse
as a small measure of reimburse,
and to demonstrate her worth,
on this, the day of her birth.

*"On the use of ‘beauty’"

This word gets used a lot in our culture,
but often in the role of vulture.
I, though, use it differently
and not at all incidentally.

While good looks are fine,
they are not enough,
and actually, are just fluff.
Because true beauty requires us
to be much more than desirous,
but entails a good heart, kind soul and a wondrous mind.

And you want to know why she does deserve it?   Because she had the decency to tell me that she appreciated it.  We did not discuss whether she ‘liked’ it.  :)

Now, are there any questions as to why I don’t "do" poetry?

It WILL NOT end the same as last time…

OK.  The map of the revamped Fairlawn Village (actually they are giving it a new name) clearly shows that my building is being torn down to make way for one of the condos to be put up.  It is why I have to move this summer.

So. WTF. Are. People. On. My. Roof. This. Morning. Making. Lots. Of. Noise?  Seriously, do you really put new shingles on a building to be torn down?

I will not stress.  I will not get depressed.  This last few days of school will NOT end like the previous time.  It will NOT!

I will not cry.  I will not scream.  [I may fucking kill someone.]  But I will maintain.  I have to.

I am being driven from my own ‘home’ just when I need its comforts the most.

My life is always ‘interesting,’ even if it is often not so good.  I hate ‘survival mode’ more than anything in the world.

Focus, Mark.  Just catalog some electronic resources, invent a new and better metadata schema and defend it, do all the bits required for your Indexing paper, make up the abstracting assignment all by this Sat to next Tues.  After that, finishing the Cataloging project is a breeze.  Of course, you’ll have to do it all elsewhere and without all of the proper resources.  Or, you’ll have to carry literally 50 pounds of stuff in a backpack in which it all won’t fit, for several days.

Now that is a plan.  So.  Time to head out the door….

Well, I got a brand new pair of roller skates

Well, not exactly ‘brand-new,’ although they may as well be.  I got my Rollerblades almost 7 years ago now, at the time of my divorce.  No shiny new sports car for me. 

I strapped them on twice back then I think, for about 5 minutes at a time, and not once since.  I also have a book I picked up cheap and read before I even got my skates, In-line skating basics by Cam Millar.

Back in January after E’s Rollerskating Birthday Party, I commented that:

Maybe I’ll go again this spring before I try and learn to inline skate.  I had the (probably ridiculous) idea that I should’ve been able to strap on my inline skates this morning and go do a halfway competent job.  Of course, the slight hangover, general achiness, 30 degree weather, and goood sense kept me from doing something so completely foolish.

Today it is sunny and almost 80.  I had pulled the skate bag out of the closet a few weeks ago when it got nice out, so I strapped them on and "went for it."  I would not even begin to label myself as competent, but I was able to skate.  My ankles, well, complete lower legs, are not big fans of the reduced stability of in-line vs. regular roller skates, but maybe I can do some exercises to strengthen my ankles, calves, shins, and Achilles tendons.  I went around the sidewalk that forms a square around my apartment and the facing ones a couple of times.  Then I crossed the street to the cable companies parking lot.

I will strengthen my legs.  I will practice.  I will learn to skate.  I will exercise.

Post title and following lyrics from "Brand New Key" by Melanie.

Well, I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key
I think that we should get together and try them out you see
I been looking around awhile
You got something for me
Oh! I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key

Do research libraries have a purpose?

"Do research libraries have a purpose?"  That, is the question.  The follow-up question is, "Do educated people in positions of ‘power’ have a clue as to what that might be?"

Yesterday I read Karen Calhoun’s final report to the Library of Congress, "The Changing Nature of the Catalog and its Integration with Other Discovery Tools," and Thomas Mann’s rebuttal, "The Changing Nature of the Catalog and Its Integration with Other Discovery Tools.  Final Report.  March 17, 2006.  Prepared for the Library of Congress by Karen Calhoun.  A Critical Review."

As much as some people in my chosen profession scare the bejeesus out of me, I am glad that I made myself read Calhoun’s report.  There is certainly some value in her report, but that said, it is a complete abomination.  Here is what I posted on my Cat & Class II’s electronic bulletin board last night after writing and posting the previous entry about Thomas Frey’s futurist view of the "book as experience."


I finally got off my rear and read both of these today after printing
them out. While there is some of value in Calhoun’s report, she has
clearly entered the ranks of "the AntiChrist" in my book. She has
completely conflated the purpose of the research library to that of the
business world. She has also completely equated scholars (you know, the
folks who research libraries serve) with the typical Google using
"information seeker." I am increasingly finding it hard to believe that
people like this have graduate degrees and work at places like Cornell.
Dante did not report on a level of Hell near "good" enough for the
likes of Calhoun and her ilk.

I was already impressed with
Thomas Mann, but his rebuttal has made him my current personal hero.
While I had already caught most of what he says in his rebuttal, he
says it far more eloquently than I could or would, AND he has the
status of researcher himself, and decades of serving researchers as a
reference librarian, to back up what he says.

If you have not
yet read either of these, I highly suggest that you take the hour (or
2-3) that it’s take you to read them. If you come to different
conclusions than me, then fine. But if you are only going to read one,
then read Mann. 1) It is shorter. 2) If you really disagree, then he
will have pulled enough quotes from Calhoun to intrigue you into
reading her. BUT. It would be patently unfair to read only Calhoun and
not Mann.

Either way.  Read with an open, but highly questioning mind.


I was teasingly called a "blasphemer" for my use of "AntiChrist."  So be it.  But, personally, I think the term "blasphemer" might best be directed toward someone else in this discussion.

I could say much, much more about the abomination that the Calhoun report is, but Thomas Mann said most of it already, and much better.

But yes, I too want my tax dollars back for this highly faulty "product."

The book as experience

Peggy Johnson, in her editorial in the current Library Resources & Technical Services [50 (2): Apr 06], summarizes Thomas Frey’s ten trends affecting the development of libraries.  Frey is the exective director and senior futurist at the DaVinci Institute.  The article cited is "The Future of Libraries: Beginning the Great Transformation."

Now, I’ve seen some intelligent things come out of the DaVinci Institute, and this article (blog post) even has some.  But.  I have something to say about Trend #9. 

First.  There is some "truth" here.  Some.  Trend #9 says that we are transitioning from a product-based economy to an experience-based economy.  On one hand, I think this is pure and utter (marketing) nonsense.  Marketers gave up selling us "products" and have been trying to sell us "lifestyles" for years.  Now that isn’t quick enough for our time compressed lives (trend #5) so we must purchase "experiences."  On the other hand, as much as I don’t personally buy this rhetoric, I can see what they are talking about, as it regards the masses anyway.

Each item that a person owns demands their
attention, and the accumulation of physical goods to demonstrate a
person’s wealth is rapidly declining in importance.  Experience becomes
the key. (from the DaVinci Institute post)

I’m all about reducing ownership of physical goods as a means of demonstrating wealth, but I don’t buy this rhetoric for a second in a consumer society.  It is also not the case that all of my items demand my attention.  I have things I don’t even know that I own anymore.  How is that demanding my attention?  Sorry.  I meant to be good and just give them this for arguments sake.

  So here is how Trend #9 affects libraries. 

…books themselves will transition from a
product to an experience.  As books change in form from simple “words
on a page” to various digital manifestations of the information, future
books will be reviewed and evaluated by the experience they create. (from the DaVinci Institute post)

Thomas Frey may be a bright guy.  I have no way of knowing.  But honestly.  That is one of the (intellectually) saddest and just plain stupidest sentences that I have read in over 40 years of reading!

I mean seriously WTF?  Whatever the mechanism of distribution, books will remain a product.  Someone (a huge conglomerate most likely) will still be selling/renting/leasing/licensing them to me, and if not the book themselves then access to them.  That means, in the English that I speak, they are still a product.

There is an inherent assumption in here that if something doesn’t have flashing lights, (computer) interactivity, and require electricity then it cannot be an "experience."  Nonsense.

The saddest part is I have to wonder if Thomas Frey has ever read a book.  Every book that I have ever read has been an experience.  Some good.  Some bad.  Some mediocre.  Some life changing.  Some forgotten.  But since when is a few hours spent curled up engaged with someone else’s ideas not an experience?

The only question that I can come back to is, "Do I speak a completely different language than everyone else?"  Or secondarily, "Are we going to let futurists and marketers define language and, in fact, experience for us?"  Being one who grew up reading the futurists in Life and Look and so on, I have an easy answer to the first question, because I have yet to see the flying cars and the video phones, etc. that were promised to me decades ago.  The second question is harder because I am only one poor soul in a mass market economy and my individual buying decisions do not really affect much.

My only other possible answer to the question of langauge is that Quine was correct about the "indeterminancy of translation."  And not only that he was correct, but that he was correct even when taken to its logical extreme.  And that my friends, I must reject with all of my being.  And if you understood even a small part of what I’ve written here, well my friends, so must you.

We (native English speakers) do generally speak the same language.  So.  I must ask, if any of you can help me understand what is being said in the statement "books themselves will transition from a
product to an experience," other than a massive twist of langauge that only serves to market "experiences" to us, please let me know.  In the meantime, my heart breaks for those who have never experienced a book.  And it breaks even more to know that those who have can try and convince us that we haven’t.

As for commenting on the utter ridiculousness of "future
books will be reviewed and evaluated by the experience they create," beyond the experiences they already create (which is a vast oversimplification; as in books create nothing.  Hint: it takes a human (or other sentient creature) to have experience), I’ll remain silent.

Futurists.  Bah.  They’ve been letting me down for 47 years.  At least the "good" ones made what they predicted sound good.  This is just stupid.  Or if you prefer to label it a shift in the meaning of terms, then we need to come up with a disclaimer system for language.

Congratulations! Your archive satisfied all the tests we performed.

Woohoo! 

I finished crosswalking my MODS records into simple DC and then re-uploaded my static repository page.  I timorously pasted my page’s baseURL into the box at the Open Archives Initiative – Repository Explorer and clicked on ‘Test the specified/selected baseURL’ and crossed my fingers.

Yes, yes.  I know it passed before with one DC record and 10 MODS records, but it turns out that it is only checking the DC records.  It ignores the MODS records or those in any other schema.  I had updated the one DC record and added 9 more, so I had plenty of room for failure.

I am so excited!  I now have a valid and well-formed XML file that comprises a valid OAI-PMH Static Repository.  Go me!

Tomorrow I’ll make sure that I have satisfied all the requirements for this assignment, although I think I have.

And yes, serials cataloging should have taken precedence since it is due first thing Monday morning, while this isn’t due until Tues. afternoon and we were told we could have until the end of the week if need be.  I meant to work on the cataloging, but after I got back from the grocery store I had a headache and I figured it’d be easier to crosswalk my metadata records.  I was right, too.

Next (self-initiated) learning project, when I have time, is to figure out how to do the crosswalking automatically, or at least not entirely by hand, because:  A) it seems like a great learning opportunity, and B) if I continue with this project I may well want to provide my bib citations via an OAI-PMH Static Repository and I’d much rather create my records in MODS and let "the system" do the crosswalking.

All I have left to say is that I deserve them beers I’m going out for later.  One, for finishing this assignment and two, for making the beer date via IM.