I would shut my eyes but I’ve got promises to keep
I can’t go crazy and I can’t get sane
And I don’t want to leave—I’d just have to come back again
I’ve got nowhere to go but to sleep….Jolie Holland. “Nothing to do but Dream.” Springtime Can Kill You
The pain is pretty much under control between the Vicodin and large doses of ibuprofen. But the tiredness. And lack of concentration, and subsequent lack of progress and productivity. Not good.
I had come up with a fall back plan for getting my academic act together. Doesn’t seem like I’ll be able to pull that off either. I really am not happy with what I need to do to reach the fall back, and now I don’t even seem capable of doing the small things I need to do to be ready for tomorrow’s class. I guess I’ll see how I sleep tonight and try and do something before my class which is at noon.
I also spoke way too early about the ants. Not as many yet, but I found a few this morning and another upon coming home this evening. I need to get something else specifically for them, but have had neither time nor money. I now have a little money, but no time to go to the store. Of course, I’m out of many food necessities, too.
I attended a presentation by Endeca today. I took a few notes, but I have no idea what I’m free to report. Nor am I in the mood anyway.
I guess I best get busy and finish my ASIST 2006 posts as I see I made This Week in LibraryBlogLand for my conference coverage, as did Washtub and Christina.
I also see I made it in for my Words. post. I sure hope I get to feeling better in case it generates any conversation.
Well, that’s enough griping, although the last two paragraphs aren’t gripes at all; they seem to be the highlight of my week so far. I should add all the love and concern I’m getting from my friends via various means. And my daughter sent me a friends request in facebook. Those are both pretty highlighty.
Night all. Please cross your fingers, pray, whatever turns you on. I really need to sleep to at least 5 AM or so.
5 responses so far ↓
1 Jenn // Nov 15, 2006 at 11:59 pm
Of course, since you are out of food, the ants should disappear again! Seriously, spray soapy water on any ants that you see and buy some of the boric acid traps to kill the rest. You can make your own bait, but unlike me, you probably don’t have a huge container of borax sitting in your laundry room.
And I totally need to get my own academic act together, as you know, so you have my sympathy. I’ll send good karma your way.
2 Mark // Nov 16, 2006 at 10:36 am
Ha ha! It’s not the food; at least that I can find. And yes, I know they must be eating something. But as messy as I am, I am not *that* kind of slob.
I will get some traps. Another friend suggested something which might be the same. Problem is I must be healthy enough and have time to go shopping. Since yesterday and today were both paydays I ought to have grocery money now. Time is the only holdup now.
I appreciate the karma, Beautiful! I did get some rest last night; probably too much though. So now that I may be rested–hard to tell as I haven’t quite woken up yet–things are even more complicated.
3 Jenica // Nov 16, 2006 at 10:56 am
Hey, Mark. Feel better, man. And, forgive me if I’m over-reaching here, or covering territory you’ve been over many times before, but it seems to me that you’re an extremely dedicated learner, and an over-achiever on top of that. Maybe if you cut yourself some slack, and lowered your expectations, the pressure and the lists and the need-to-dos would be more manageable?
In any case, I’ll offer up whatever good thoughts I have to the Tooth Fairy and the Liberry Fairy on your behalf, and hope that it all works out!
4 Mark // Nov 16, 2006 at 11:35 am
No need to forgive you, my wise and beautiful friend. As usual, you drove the nail completely in with one zen-like tap of the hammer.
I am learning to do some of those things, but at this point whatever learning I have done above and beyond is irrelevant (from one angle) because the visible products of learning are due.
I have no doubt that my professors are aware of these “qualities” in me. I was given several validations of just that while at ASIST and a few before going but, nonetheless, they must judge (grade) me the same as the rest of the students.
I also know that being hard on myself won’t help the healing process. That is why I chose my fall back position with a lot less angst than in the past. I only wanted to do a few small things to be in a better position to reach the fall back but my body said no to that.
I certainly understand why my body isn’t cooperating, and I know my profs will understand. But these are people I really *do not* want to let down, and this includes the small number of students in my seminar class. We are there to help educate each other and I am missing part of the week for which I am responsible. That hurts! Me anyway; heck, they may be glad I’m not there.
Thank you, though, for the valuable reminder and good thoughts. Mine go out to you, too. Here’s hoping you have on a productive job hat today.
5 thanks giving | Off the Mark // Nov 23, 2006 at 9:32 pm
[...] Many friends have made contact with me in various ways—empathizing, sympathizing, offering unsolicited (but always) welcome advice, saying “Hi,” asking me how I am, and generally just letting me know that they care about me. The message has been coming through in person, by IM, email and blog comments; at home and away. [...]