there’s a crack in the concrete floor
that starts at the sink
there’s a bathroom in a gas station
and i’ve locked myself in it to thinkAni DiFranco. “Shy.” Not A Pretty Girl.
I do not mean to alarm anyone, nor is this a promise, but I intend (and hope) to more or less disappear from here for a while.
I have not been very happy with what I’ve been producing for a long time now. While it may be my life, and it may be of importance to me, it is mostly public pap.
Bounds of discretion and friendship prevent me from saying some of the things I would like to; thus, I end up being vague. But none of my friends are stupid. So is the vagueness even helpful, or does it lead to hurt feelings via misunderstandings? I certainly do not want to hurt anyone’s feelings, just as I imagine that no one intends to hurt mine.
And in reality, this issue is much, much larger than some of the ill effects of social software. That is just the most recent issue. I have no intention of totally eradicating the personal from my blog as that is what I like best about some of my friend’s blogs. But. I need a better balance.
I have a paper that needs to be written over the next few weeks, work to make up at one job, and another that wants me to work more and use up some of the funds budgeted to my position. I have yet to send a single Christmas card and haven’t bought a single present for anyone. I have a million tasks/projects around the apartment that need working on and no time.
For someone who wants to organize information/knowledge, I am currently leading a life that is an organizational mess.
There is no need for anyone to be overly concerned. This is not a cry for help or anything. [When I start talking about going to the Grand Canyon you might consider worrying then.] I am just not very pleased with much of my life right now and I need to find a way to do what I was finally able to do with my educational life recently; that is, tell myself a (semi-)coherent story. [Boy, do I sure wish I could take Storytelling over!]
I do need my friends, near and far. Please do not think I am asking anyone to stay out of my life! I am not. I am only hoping to get some things in order, even if that is only in the stories I tell myself. So please feel free to contact me if you like. I won’t be too concerned if you don’t though. I know how this time of year gets. The usual methods for contacting me apply—phone, assorted email, comments here, IM, see me on the street, ….
…there’s a bathroom in a gas station and i’ve locked myself in it to think.
6 responses so far ↓
1 Jenica // Dec 13, 2006 at 1:22 pm
Hey, I hope you find a comfy bathroom to think in. And that the lock holds until you’re done doing what you need to do.
Good luck with your mental organization — I understand, relate to, and sympathize with the need to just sort out the jumble that can threaten to take over and take you where you never meant to be.
And… I suspect that nearly every blogger who inserts the personal into their public blog also has a private blog, either with or without name attached. Sometimes both. Discretion is hard work. Something to think on!
2 Lynn // Dec 13, 2006 at 2:44 pm
It’s totally understandable to “disappear” for a while; your needs are the priority, not blog-reader’s wants.
And, as Jenica points out, most bloggers end up with two. I have two and even then, I struggle with what to share on what. I’ve gotten myself into trouble too a few times.
3 jenny // Dec 14, 2006 at 10:43 am
Oh! I totally understand. At least pop in and let us know you’re doing okay!
4 Mark // Dec 14, 2006 at 11:14 am
Yes’m.
Here I am and I’m fine. Really tired the last few days and not sure why, but generally fine.
5 Angel // Dec 14, 2006 at 11:38 am
You go and take care of yourself. At the end of the day, that is always what comes first.
As the other bloggers mention, I am one of those who has more than one blog, and there are days when I wonder what to put where. I even recently went with pseudonymous blog for more personal/snarky/private kind of things. (No, not saying here where, that is the whole point lol. But if you really want to know, e-mail me).
Anyhow, I have seen a good number of bloggers who take their breaks. So take yours, take it easy, and take care. Best.
6 walt crawford // Dec 14, 2006 at 12:15 pm
What Angel and the others say. (I never thought of a second, pseudonymous, private blog–for one thing, I don’t think anonymity/pseudonymity really works in the long run, and once it cracks, all the archives become identifiable.)
Welcome back whenever you come back. Meanwhile, as someone once said, life trumps blogging. Take care.