You are right though, we are highly similar about much of the stuff that is worrying me. I wish I was (geographically) closer to folks like you, Jodi Schneider, David Rich and a few others. While I greatly appreciate that these folks try and engage me in the sorts of discussions I’d love to have, I just seem unable to do it in a non-face-to-face manner.

The interwebs is great for some forms of communication and connection, but they don’t (yet?) work so well for me for a sustained dialogue; at least not one that actually covers some decent ground in a relatively short period of time. You know, like face-to-face conversation.

You hang in there, too, “kid.” The world would be unbearable if I knew the light had gone out of your amazing and uplifting smile.

Maybe I’m just dense, or slow, or obtuse but I need sustained dialogue about many things before I can even begin to get a grasp on them, much less make any real progress. And considering I tend to wander/wonder after some of the more complex ideas out there … well, it just seems like a set-up for failure in these days and times.

Of course, then there’s the whole personal stuff that no amount of talking about with the few people I do trust with it is going to solve. I greatly appreciate the few of you who (I) do discuss these things with me since they are generally the sorts of things that aren’t talked about today. And that has disastrous consequences, except for a small part of the economy. But we’ve had this talk.

Thanks for your thoughts, Steve, and please know that I think of you and your family often.

I have a pretty good idea what I want to do, that is true, although it is still kind of vague. The various issues I allude to pretty much force it to stay vague or almost hopelessly unachievable.

On the other hand, there is still an awful lot of me to be found still. I have made a lot of progress in the last 8 years or so, but considering it took much longer to get the way I am trying to overcome I expect it to take longer still.

Which distills into, “Do I have the time, and will it matter when I finally get there?”

In the end, it is the daily striving to be a better person that matters, I guess.

All I can say, fwiw, is I have at least a partial sense of what you’re going through; you’re not alone. I will be thinking of you.

personally, i’m still trying to find myself. in moments when i’m totally lost, i pick up some Osho to read these days…