One of my co-workers is upset with me due to their perceiving a lack of interest on my part in their little corner of the world. This person’s little corner of the LIS world is even something which ought to be of interest to me since it is beginning to show up on more and more job descriptions.
The problem is that this is of interest to me. But the larger problem is someone else inferring my interest or not based on their perception of my overt actions. Please do not do this. Anyone. Do any of you readers assume that I’m not interested in anything I don’t write about here? [purely rhetorical]
As my “subtitle” says, I am a habitually probing generalist. There isn’t all that much that I am not interested in, at some point. I have never had, nor will I ever have, enough time to pursue everything of interest to me. I imagine many people are like this. But some of us are worse than others.
So, the way I say it, getting petulant with me because your feelings are hurt due to your perception on whether or not I am interested in your stuff is, at best, egotistical, and at worst, seriously disdainful of the amount of things I also do in the world and of the breadth of my interests. Even those in my own field and area/focus of interest are enough to fill my time while there is ever more to be actively interested in.
If you want to claim that I am currently actively interested in some thing over another, or even just observe that this is so (that inference still isn’t fully de-clawed), then fine. I am happy to justify my current business and why there is no overt time for our overlapping areas; I also feel no real need to do so either.
I have no time for petulancy. That is not one of my interests, active or otherwise.
8 responses so far ↓
1 Jen!! // Jan 24, 2008 at 9:10 pm
Personally, I’m very sad to find that you no longer have time for petulancy.
2 Mark // Jan 24, 2008 at 9:25 pm
Jenn!!, your logic has failed you.
[Here we will make the simplistic equation of interest with having time for. Easier and shorter that way.]
I am not interested in petulancy per se, nor even in general, or as regards most people. But that in no way rules out the intersection of interests of varying levels as they merge and/or just overrule each other.
So, for instance. Jen!!’s petulancy when it regards me, or even more in general, is an interest of mine.
But this in no way implies that I am interested in other people’s petulancy, towards me or others.
When you are petulant with me–in that special way only you can be–I have given you a reason.
I might suggest a class with Allen for you, but I fear his kind of logic would only partially help here.
3 Kirsten // Jan 25, 2008 at 9:06 am
Ain’t egos grand?
4 ChaCha // Jan 25, 2008 at 1:17 pm
What is it that you claim to have an interest in?
A small blurb on it might have been useful so we can frame your co-worker’s disappointment a little better.
5 Mark // Jan 25, 2008 at 4:01 pm
Kirsten, yes they are.
ChaCha, good question and, on one hand, I see how it might provide more context but, on the other, it could serve no real purpose either. This post is both blind and semi-blind. Most people will have no idea of what the topic is and who the person is, which is as it should be. I am not trying to embarrass my co-worker. A couple of people in the world (if they read this–I have no idea) will know of what I speak.
My main point–and anecdotally one other person agreed with me wholeheartedly this morning–is that I [and they] have so many interests–even intense interests–that must be actively ignored if I am to make any progress in life.
Perhaps it has to do with being diagnosed ADHD before there were even 4 letters in it and being one of the early Ritalin kids. There simply is too much going on up there.
I’m not sure my co-worker’s disappointment needs to be framed any better. We all (most? many?) feel disappointed when others are (seemingly) not interested in our business. It can hurt. I’m not denying that as a possibility. But I was attempting to show an interest when I got slapped down for not being interested. Seems a little ass backwards to me if that is your complaint.
My gripe is with the ensuing petulance. You might be disappointed and even upset with me, but when I do show an active interest do you “let me in” or send me away with a scolding that I’m not interested?
And, no doubt, there could be a completely different side to this story. I shan’t try and spell it out though as it is not my side of the story.
6 ChaCha // Jan 25, 2008 at 5:01 pm
Anonymity….check.
In a public library, “petulance” is pretty much your frenemy. Maybe you’re not the confrontational type, I dunno. You shouldn’t have a hard time walking away from conversations that you’re not into. How you execute this might be open for interpretation. It is not, however, surprising to find people who think their poop don’t stink. If this person pays you to be at work, feign interest. It’s also called “politics.”
7 Mark // Jan 25, 2008 at 5:10 pm
Certainly. But is not any of my three bosses.
8 3rd blogging anniversary and welcome to new readers // Jan 29, 2008 at 8:38 am
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