Off the Mark

Jeremy and me, Christmas 2007

Originally uploaded by broken thoughts

I guess someday I’ll have to stop calling him my “baby boy.” Or, perhaps not.

Today my son turns 28. I am so very, very proud of him. He has overcome a fair bit of adversity in his life and is far stronger than his father. He even attained the same rank as his pop in half the time I did.

I do fear that his 1st tour in Iraq has caused him to toughen up some parts by shutting off others but if that is the worst that happened then we are both very lucky. I can only hope that his upcoming 2nd tour does no worse.

Son, I encourage you to open up your soul to the wonders of the world and to experience the possible joys to their fullest.

Sure. Every once in a while someone will come along and stomp that sucker down into the dirt while laughing maniacally–of this I can certainly assure you–but the joys really do outweigh the pains. The trick is to find a reasonably healthy way to get you through the pains.

And although I call it a “trick,” it may, in fact, be the essence of the human condition. The world is an evil place as you well know. But there is also so much beauty in it.

Look for that beauty every where and let it be your lighthouse.

Earlier this week my soul was given wings only to be once again stomped on hard by some maniac. So even though, like a turtle, I am pulling everything inside my shell I shall look for the beauty within so that I may once again tentatively begin to look for it in the world at large. It is there. I promise.

It breaks my heart to write these words on your birthday, but perhaps this is the most important lesson I can ever try to teach you.

I love you so very much and I have my promise to you firmly in mind. I also have a commitment to come visit before your deployment so with a firm focus on the (currently dimmed) beauty that I know exists I am imagining that the world will once again be a more beautiful place for me by the time I have to forcefully remind myself of my next commitment.

I am very proud of you, Jeremy. Please know that I love you with every ounce of my being!

Look for the beautiful and the joyous in everything. It is there. Amongst the massive pains it is there. I promise.

Happy birthday, son!