Things have sort of “settled down” around here; here being the blog. Related things in my daily life got “interesting” and have only progressed. Today was a most enlightening day. [Yes, Christina, that "interesting" was purposefully vague, and for you. 
]
Wow. What to say, or not say? Been working on this for a while now since …, well, mid-June. Been doing a lot of thinking and a couple two days ago I started drafting a post, and some drafts of things referenced in the draft post and making a list of “sources.”
Been talking to some folks, in various venues, more face-to-face lately; been trying to talk to a few others, various venues, mostly f-2-f at moment but not entirely [I seriously need to reach out to a couple folks ... once I has plan]; I have a new advisor at school; and also someone I am seriously discussing my perceived communication issues, amongst other things, with.
But today brought a whole new level of interestingness. I really am not about to go into much, yet and if at all, but today I listened to the entire Q&A for the Gorman colloquium and it seems my lived experience as perceived at the time [and some odd coincidences at school] led me to perceive my communication issues vastly differently from what they truly are.
After the very pleasant shock of how I sounded in my comments to Michael Gorman—direct, perhaps blunt, but level-headed and with little emotion—I had a few conversations with a couple of amazing women, some of whom I have already been talking with, that really helped put some things in perspective.
After today I have a much better idea of the issues I face—talking them through with wonderful and intelligent people also really helps.
I am not a failure. I also must remember the impossibly high standards that I set for myself before saying such silly things again. I did fail, momentarily [and in highly specific and narrow ways]. I am not a failure. I know so very much. There is always more to learn.
This little non-event has done some serious work for me. I have a much better idea of who I am and what I am committed to. I have fully embraced the knowledge that this commitment may well impact my earning potential. I will always be “that guy.” When what I want is to be this guy and in many more contexts.
I’m going to stay kind of quiet for a while most likely but know that I am working on some things. And, me? Please know that I am as fine as the wonderful little summer storms we had earlier this evening [yes, I adore them] and that I am Stargazing.
Today was a very affirming, most frabjous, day.
6 responses so far ↓
1 Dorothea Salo // Jul 9, 2008 at 7:11 am
Something there is in library culture that does not regard certain kinds of questioning with favor. Something there also is that is extraordinarily good at making people question themselves, their knowledge, and their competence, sometimes unfairly.
Or so I have found.
2 Jen!! // Jul 9, 2008 at 8:39 am
**hugs**
You are, in fact, quite wonderful. It makes me smile knowing that you know that.
3 Kirsten // Jul 9, 2008 at 8:50 am
Glad you’re working things out to your satisfaction, Mark.
And yes, those summer storms are indeed fine. Would you mind sending one down thisaway?
4 Mark // Jul 9, 2008 at 9:40 pm
Thanks, Dorothea. You are one of the prime [few] folks I need to do a better job of reaching out to. Even a simple follow-up to your last email which had a lot of valid points of view in it …
Jen!! Glad you’re still on vacation but I misses ya!
::hugs back::
and keep those awesome SALP tales coming. I want more “Mo-o-O-Om!” stories.
Kirsten, thanks, and I’d be happy to but be careful what you wish for. Not that I wished for it, but I’ve experienced one doozy of an Oklahoma summer storm, in a tent.
[You know, it was 10 years ago this summer.] Anyway, last nights storms were babies; except one did produce a massive quantity of rain over a small bit of time (20-30 minutes I think). In our towns, though, that means a lot of flooding to include some major thoroughfares.
It is easy today, in multiple ways, to see that there were recently large amounts of water, much of it rushing, that had covered most of the flat ground surfaces. Nature in the “suburbs” is an interesting concept, in both practice and theory.
Anyway, now I’m rambling. Thanks, ladies.
Oh, I wanted to give a shout-out to the amazing Christina for shooting me info on the new issue of Journal of Information Science 34 (4) which is “a review of 50 years of information science in the UK - the guest editorial by Vickery is great in and of itself. …”
I love my friends! It does look awesome and I have a couple articles saved and printed, unfortunately I have something of a bit higher priority to work on first.
But it is nice to know that I have an excellent looking source of historical and philosophical material to hand.
Thanks, Christina! http://christinaslibraryrant.blogspot.com/
5 Kirsten // Jul 10, 2008 at 8:09 am
That’s why I live on top of a hill.
We actually got a “sound and fury” storm yesterday evening: lots of noise but not much water.
6 Christina Pikas // Jul 11, 2008 at 9:11 am
Gosh - my sensors must be on the blink that I’m so late in commenting. You’re welcome - always!
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